Those unspeakably fun topics

Since we were talking about Google being a God last time. I got to thinking about the tendency to shy away from speaking about religion.

Do you believe there is a God? Are you Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist?

How about politics – are you liberal or conservative in your political beliefs. Capitalist? Socialist? Nihilist? Dictator?

How do you feel about sex? Do you watch porn? What kind? Do you fantasise? Do you think masturbation is evil?

I’m sorry if these questions make you uncomfortable. I mean to say, I’m not sorry for asking them, I’m sorry you aren’t relaxed and free enough to be comfortable with the questions.

I enjoy exploring new ways of thinking about the world. When I meet new people I like to get into their heads and hear their opinions about topics that are actually interesting. That means that inevitably the conversation will head towards the three most dreaded topics of conversation – sex, religion and politics.

Sex – too indecent
Religion – too controversial
Politics – too heated

What is left to talk about when all the prudes out there tell you these topics are off limits? – Nothing truly interesting if you ask me.

Want to know what my taboo topics are?

Diets
The latest diet that you’re trying out in a desperate attempt to drop your Christmas (sure) pounds and all the intricate details of it. I do my thing, I jog, I try to eat as healthy as I can – I really don’t need you making me feel bad about the cupcake I had for breakfast.

Your ex
Yes. You guys broke up. Get over it. I don’t mind talking to you about your ex when it’s still a fresh wound – I understand that you need to deal through the issues. I’ll be your shoulder. But if it’s months after the break up and your ex has moved on – I’m over it.

Boring gossip
If anyone ever says they don’t enjoy the odd tidbit of exciting gossip, they’re lying. But I don’t want to hear any gossip about your uncle’s, cousin’s, girlfriend’s sister. I don’t care.

Money
Oh, wow, you earn so much money! I automatically have so much respect for anything that comes out of your mouth – including your ignorant opinions that display just how vain you are. (I think this will be my sarcasm font from now on.)

I’m sure if I had the time I could come up with quite a list. But my point is this – why make all the interesting topics taboo? And leave us with this boring dribble to put up with?




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